I thought these things raged on all night, but then again it was Thursday and only just the beginning . . .

Last night I met a friend out for drinks at Mini Bar. I guess it’s like the “who’s pretty” kind of place. The guys were all 8+ across the board (that’s being conservative). Frankly, it was very intimidating. I’ve always like Mini Bar, but I’m not the pretentious sort – which I’m told is pretty much the place to be if you tend to gravitate to that side of the personality spectrum. Anyway, friend of a friend was gracious enough to include me in their bottle service. Management at Mini Bar didn’t let me pay for a single shot. And presto! There I was, shit faced, mouth shut and trying to hide it. I drank more last night than I have in months. And it’s only Thursday. Sadly, I have two gears: VERY mild, or EXTREMELY wild.  I don’t know how to go out and just have a beer (unless we’re doing something culturally enriching, but when you’re in a bar/club that you can barely hear the person’s name standing next to you, there are few and fewer “enrichment opportunities”).

So, all night I kept thinking “at some point I should slide over to Hydrate and at least poke my face in”.  That’s where Chi Chi LaRue had her thing going on. I didn’t want to be rude and put down all of the great hospitality Mini Bar was showing me. And then before I knew it it was 1 AM and I was sauntering on over to Hydrate.  By the time I got there, everyone was gone and the place wreaked of vomit. I mean every damn corner. Not the best place for someone already heartbeats away from up-chucking as it was.

We stuck it out, the place began to fill up again as the other bars let out and by then I was ready to go home. My friends started dancing. Usually that’s my cue to exit. I’m that guy in the corner texting his boyfriend and looking like he’s miserable – but, he’s not. He’s just not a dancer and he just doesn’t get what’s so great about top 40 remixes.

Then I went home alone and rode my Brent Corrigan Fleshjack dildo in my hotel room.  THAT was the most enriching part of the evening, to be perfectly honest.

I saw some pictures from the event I missed. Doesn’t look like a missed anything at all.  And at the end of the day, I don’t know any of those people anyway. Okay, all this sounds resoundingly pessimistic. Truth is? I’ve been trying to look for good reasons to make a “come back” and I can’t tell if I’m hiding from them and I’ve already made up my mind.

It’s interesting. I used to want to make this “my people” but because of my history in the adult industry I was shunned. Now that I’ve moved on to a different different career direction THAT realm of entertainment doesn’t really embrace me either because of where I’ve come from.

It’s like purgatory.

Caught in the middle and going nowhere soon.

But if purgatory is an evening at Mini Bar in one of the best cities in the world, surrounded by the hottest guys imaginable – I’ll fucking take it!

Much Love,
SPL aka Brent Corrigan

Check it out!

Follow the link below to my latest interview as I gear up for a weekend in Chicago for The Grabbys!

Also included are new pictures taken this past Sunday (May 19th).  You’re little Brent Corrigan is becoming a man. I hope you don’t mind

CLICK HERE TO GO TO THE
PRIDE MAGAZINE INTERVIEW

Two days ago I got a little bold about something on a very sensitive part of my body and made a proactive decision.

It’s no secret I’ve always had a curious “bump” near the head of my penis on the right side.  It appeared one day when I was 16 after spending the afternoon masturbating furiously. I mean marathon masturbation moment. If I remember correctly it was something like 12 times in the span a few about 4 hours. What I wouldn’t do to be 16 again . . . never mind, I take that back. Being 26 (or is it 27? I can’t remember. It changes every year anyway).

Point is, I ruptured something below the surface but was too afraid to tell anyone. It never prevented me from masturbation or sex. And it certainly didn’t stop anyone from filming me in a porno.

So, with all the extra time I’ve had between days on set on this latest NON ADULT production, resting quietly in my hotel room I’ve been a bit on the idle side. And you know what they say about idle hands, don’t you?

After really closely assessing the situation, I decided that maybe it wasn’t connective tissue at all (which would have been hard and grisly under the surface). I’ve had countless doctors tell me the bump was not an STD. I’ve even had it scraped and tested for a possible strain of HPV or anything else. Always coming up negative. So on this particular occasion, two days ago in my hotel room, I decided to get a little bold. Well, proactively bold. Clearly the bump was extremely topical.  I always carry new, unused very sharp surgical instruments in case I need to do a little mild extraction on my face (I break out like crazy at times and the school of thought there is to relieve the pressure of a major eruption, albeit in an extremely sterile manner, to prevent anything from scarring or getting larger than makeup on set can adequately cover). Even that sounds crazy, but trust me. If we’ll shoot lasers at our skin to prevent breakouts, smooth out wrinkles, and all those fancy things is it really that hard to accept some of us to a little of our own extraction?

So, I washed my hands with antibacterial soap profusely. Cleaned the area with iodine. Further sterilized my tool with rubbing alcohol, pulled the skin back tightly and tapped one end of the “bump” with my very sharp instrument. Very little blood, and a small amount of protein fluid came to the surface. I washed the area. Bandaged up, and the bleeding stopped nearly immediately. The incision was extremely small. The entire process: a very amount of distress caused.

Sure, the idea of taking even the smallest surgical knife to your dick seems adequately ludicrous.  I fully recognize that I am fortunate my assessment of the situation was accurate and the process virulently minor because I am very well aware of the possibility that this could’ve turned into a disaster.

At this point my dick is healing and there is a small amount of blood under the surface that needs to be metabolized by my system. In time that will naturally happen. The area looks normal. My dick looks better – no distractions to ponder when going down in that general direction. It used to be that I’d have to explain my lump to anyone new coming at it from that angle so they wouldn’t eye it strangely. Because weirdly enough, all kinds of men and boys will still put their mouth on something then ask questions later. I’d gotten into the habit of showing, explaining frankly, and offering to opt out of receiving oral if my partner was uncomfortable. All partners have been smart enough to know the difference between a skin disease and something clearly formed below the surface of the skin. But now none of that is a factor in my sex life.

Pictures attached are from today. I took them with my macbook, which mirror images strangely and flip them. However, this is the proper side of my dick even if the band of my Andrew Christian underwear is read backwards. I’m sure some mac guy commenting here can explain why this happens but in the near future if you’re still skeptical I fully intend on putting together a professional shoot that shows off the new, unfettered state of my 7.5 bumpless inches of cock.

And by the way, I jerked off 2 times this morning before this pictures were taken. Everything works amazingly. And I shot two huge loads. I need to take more breaks from masturbation. I forgot how much more fun cumming is when you haven’t done it already 3-5 times that day!

And yes, if I you think I’m crazy, you’re probably right. But I’ve never tried to hide that one. And don’t be stupid like me. Don’t put knives or sharp tools to your penis or face. You might not be as lucky as me and we need as many working cocks in the world as possible.

Much Love,

Brent Corrigan aka SPL

Okay! Now, breathe. In and out all the way. Relax.

All this before you get all huffy and tell me “DON’T GET TOO BIG!”

1) Because if you know me at all you know I don’t listen to anyone.

2) Because it’s all the about the angles. And yes, while I’m not a rail thin light weight anymore, I still only top out at less than 145 and I’m still 5′7. That means when/if you get to see me in person, I’ll still be pretty much pint sized and lovable. Tossable. Spankable. And totally receptive of all that, too.

I’ve been getting ready for two films – both of which you are well aware of at this stage. “Triple Crossed”, I was gearing up to potentially play an Afghanistan War Vet with PTSD (thankfully I didn’t end up in that role, we found a better actor so I could play his quirky, nerdy loverboy). Originally I feared we wouldn’t find someone right and right looking for the role. So the last month I’ve been prepping in the gym to play either one.  And then of course there’s “The Dark Place”. It shoots 6 days after we wrap “Triple Crossed” – so I had to be pretty much be body ready for both roles. In The Dark Place I place a manipulative sexpot shit-kicker that “goes both ways”. What do you think? Would you buy that based on these pics?

One of the things I’m personally setting out to do with my mainstream work right now is not only show versatility of character, but versatility in look. I don’t want people to constantly see “Brent Corrigan” the doe-eyed twinky up there.  So, sometimes this requires drastic measures. Then, throw in a healthy dose of body dismorphia (kidding!), Split Personality (not kidding, see SPL & Brent Corrigan twotter accounts), OCD (it’s not the kind that makes me twitch, just the kind that makes me obsess) and WAH-LAH (spelling?!); there you have it, a real porn star turned indie darling just trying to make it in the world.

Jeez, I’ve got problems. But I’m still happy so I think that’s okay.

Just always remember, I’m now 26 year old. I, too, grow up and eventually I will grow old.  That’s a good thing. And there’s always Johnny Rapid, right?

Much Love,

SPL aka Brent Corrigan

And now I’m going to leave you with “The End”

Hello Again! And so soon! Whatever has come over me . . .

Yesterday I posted the below image (cropped and censored – SNORE!) on the Brent Corrigan Fanbook Page in an effort to encourage people to remember to continue voting for me to be one of the 2013 Grabbys Hosts.  I figured I’d do you all a solid and repost the image UNCENSORED to enjoy!  You may have seen this illustration by Ismael Alvarez done years ago now depicting a much younger, much shaggier Brent Corrigan. I realize often times some of these things are missed by newer fans just coming to watch and follow me today.

Do you remember when Ismael Alvarez issued a version of me as my character Stan the Merman from Another Gay Sequel?  It’s still one of my favorites to-date!

I’d like to get in touch with Ismael about having him do an updated version and make this series a trio. Hell, who knows, maybe one day he might even like to partner with me and finally create that Brent Corrigan Graphic Erotic Series I’ve always wanted to pump out . . . Anyone out there got any direct connections with this amazing artist?

CHECK OUT ISMAEL’S WEBSITE BY CLICKING HERE

Ismael has always been one of my favorite queer artists. I certainly encourage you to take a look at his website and works, even pick up a print or two. His depictions of real people are some of the most lively and warm. He does such an exquisite job capturing life!

Looking back on life a few short years ago, I was still of the mind that my adult background and choices as a young person would forever hold me back from doing what I truly love in love: Making films and becoming an actor.

Well, in a handful of years I’ve been able to stare down the nay-sayers and figure it out for myself. I stood up, found the courage to move forward with my dreams and moved along. Things for me by no means are perfect. I currently operate on a level of film-making that can only exist with constant support and attention from the target audience. While social media and crowd funding websites like Kickstarter and Indie-GoGo are Godsends in today’s world of indie filmmaking, it can be frustrating when fledgling filmmakers are constantly asking of you to promote their up and coming work and even donate to the cause.

But, as you may also know that in today’s world it couldn’t be more true – “If you want to get anything done at all anymore, you’ve got to do it yourself!” If you want to see a certain kind of film made, screened at LGBT film festivals on the big screen, distributed online and sold on DVD, you’ve got to get behind the kind of people who are making the work you want to see. It’s really not that complicated of a philosophy!

I’ve always had this dream of busting open the censorship board and blowing the lid right off of our bullshit Puritanical ideals that have held our social movements back for far too long now. What world do we live in when it’s safe and fair to see people blown to bits, murdered and slashed but if you exhibit even the mildest of sexual imagery you’re done for in the world of filmmaking?! It’s a shame, an outrage, and as a person coming from an adult background and YOU, a fan knowing me from this background – it’s all bullshit for me to run around pretending like I’m not who I am and I didn’t do what I do. I’m proud of Brent Corrigan but I am Sean Paul Lockhart. It’s just a fact. A fact that so many of you have happily embraced as my journey in life continues and I grow from a boy into a man right in front of your very eyes.

This is why for my first directed film, I’m choosing to include as much of that graphic material as I see fit as an artist. “Triple Crossed” is filming in April 2013.

This film is tight, small and very simple. It’s perfect for my first directed position in the mainstream arena.

However, the budget for this project is smaller than some of the PORN FILMS I’ve been on. Sad but true. But, sweetcheeks – that ain’t stoppin’ me.

We are fully funded, with the exception of some monies needed to acquire our own lights and even a camera. Our “Angel Investor” is willing to put up the funds needed to make the film but equipment rentals are expensive and cumbersome when it comes to scheduling.

Am I going back to porn? Not right this minute. Will this be softcore? I’ll leave that up for you to decide. I will tell you the acting won’t be secondary as it is seen in too many of those bad Cinemax films. “Witches of Breastwick”? Seriously?! This is no “Witches of Breastwick”. And you know what I’m talking about if you watch cable late at night.

And yes, if you haven’t guessed already I’m asking for more help.

Two films – my very first directed project TRIPLE CROSSED – is currently campaigning.

HELP MY FIRST DIRECTED FILM DIRECTLY HERE

The second is Blue Seraph Productions (they made “Judas Kiss” – my crowning acting achievement released to this date).

The film is called The Dark Place. And for once I actually get to play the “evil bitch” that so many people have spent the last 7 years claiming I truly, really was (yes, I’m playing the bad guy you’ll hate to love!)

HELP THE DARK PLACE HERE

You can read more about both films on both of their respective crowd funding pages.  The “Triple Crossed” Indie Go Go Page is still being developed. You’ll see that the boys at Blue Seraph developing “The Dark Place” really do have their shit together – and though I don’t want to pit the two against each other, if you had a choice of ONE of just the TWO, please know your help will go further to help ME directly by contributing to “Triple Crossed”.

As always, even if you don’t have a lil extra cash laying around this month, you can help in your own way! Share this post, share those two pages on your social media outlets, and encourage your friends who might be a little better off than you are to help out some starving artists that bring a little sex, art, and aesthetic appeal to our LGBT Community.

Thank You!

Much Love,
Brent Corrigan aka Sean Paul Lockhart