Just Another Day . . .

It’s a beautiful, drizzly day in San Diego and I’m feeling a bit more introspective, so I figured I sit down and share a little bit of what has been on my mind. When I don’t do this, I think the rumor mill kicks into overdrive. Too many of my faithful (though much appreciated) followers have very overactive imaginations!

First of all, I’m fine. The worst of it these days is the amount of time I have been spending alone. When I returned home from Seattle I only had 12 hours with Papi before he had to return to New Mexico. He’s overseeing Thoroughbred racing out there. He works 6 days a week. I stayed behind to run the company from home & catch up on some business missed while I was shooting Judas Kiss. It’s been more than 2 months since we’ve spent any quality time together. Maintaining a long distance relationship puts a lot of strain on two lovers. It’s been tough.

Some time ago we entered into a dispute with our landlord where we share a home together in San Diego. The dispute stemmed from a verbal agreement we had arranged with him to begin paying rent on the 10th of each month, in place of the first. Three months after the arrangement, the old goat asked us to move because we were late on rent 3 months in a row. He’s so out there all the time I’m not surprised he didn’t remember. In a written declaration Paul and I accounted for every last dollar that we put into upgrades on the property. It amounted nearly $4,000 and the landlord refused to pay it – so we’ve entered into a legal dispute. While Paul is away I’ve been looking for a new home & preparing to move the life we’ve built together. This is a task I must admit I am not anticipating.  While Paul and I never believed we were going to stay in this place forever, we weren’t prepared to abandon all the money and energy we had invested in it right away, either.

Paul and I have discussed very openly about moving out to New Mexico for the duration of the racing season.  The cost of living is more manageable and they get four seasons since it’s the high desert. I have to be honest, a real fall and a real winter sounds quite appealing. I know, you think I’m crazy for admitting this out loud to you right now. Another great reason for moving is the opportunity for me. I’ll get a chance to be around the horses and I’ve been offered some work breezing/exercising racehorses. This to me is a dream job! When I was a young boy I wanted to be a jockey. No, I don’t want to be one now (I’m actually too big, believe it or not!). But, working around them is the next best thing.  Don’t worry, I have great health insurance. I know how crazy those animals are. So the plan is to go to New Mexico for the end of the season, then on to El Paso for 4 months of racing there, and then back to New Mexico where the season starts back up again. I know. El Paso? I don’t care where I am as long as I’m around the horses.  A dream job is still a dream job – even if it’s in Ugly Ass West Texas. No offense if you live in West Texas. I can pretty much run my company from anywhere. I’ll still be HERE when I’m there.

So, if you’re a member of my website you know I haven’t been filming too much at all in the last year.  I’ve avoided opening dialog about why this is for so long because I didn’t want to seal anything in writing.  My feelings about working in front of the camera have changed a lot. What was once effortless and natural for me has become somewhat of a chore. So I’ve resigned to taking some time off over the last year or so.  It hasn’t been until recently that I have felt that itch again. Also, something should be said for the relationship I have been in. Out of respect for my lover, Paul, I’ve also kept things on the quieter side regarding my work as an adult star.  I’ll say it again, I’m not retiring! Just slowing down. Quality over quantity, always! Besides, I know for a fact that you’d rather see me on my A game or not see me at all, right?


PHOTO CREDIT: Paul Martinez aka Papi

I’ve been lightly casting for some new adult projects in the works. You can apply to come be a part of this and other projects here: Fill out a Model Application. I am focusing very closely on this next project because I want everything to be as close to perfect as possible.  I’m also evolving the kind of models I want to work with & around.  I want to go more college-age with it. Fewer skinny, bony ass twinks – more studly, jocky young men. Personally, it’s what I like more, and if I’m going to shoot some new work I want to be just as turned on as the rest of you are!

I’m still trudging along on my book. I’ve recently opened dialog with some friends of mine about developing a one man show for a small stage in Los Angeles. I know, we’ve been here before. Some things work, most things don’t.  Previously when we set out to develop The Masseur our main obstacle was finding the other actor that was comfortable working with me on stage.  Theatre doesn’t pay much anyway and I got the sense that the risk of working with a gay porn star was not worth it to any of the actors fit for the role. The other actor had to be many things (masculine, very well built, and convincing as a married, closeted gay man) – these things, quite honestly, were not easy to find in many actors comfortable playing that type of role. Eventually we abandoned our efforts because it was looking more and more bleak. At one point, we even entertained the idea of having Paul play the other character opposite of me. Paul, though I love him dearly, wasn’t right for the role, either.

I actually did a video blog entry after finishing filming Judas Kiss, but when it ran 16+ minutes long YouTube rejected the clip. It wasn’t until recently that I learned that YouTube doesn’t allow videos more than 10 minutes (fact check? That’s just something a friend told me). Upon watching it again I was thinking I’d just redo it.  However, I’m a strong believer in the “power of the moment” and what is revealed regarding feelings or thoughts at the time. I’m frustrated at the quality of this video. I think from now on I am going to film with my Canon Vixia, upload to my editing bay, and do it the long way. It’s much more labor intensive, but the quality is leaps and bounds above what you see here. Blah, I need a tan. I know:

Lots of other new things coming! I’m doing a video collaboration with web personality and blogger Randy Rainbow, as well as an ALL NEW Brent Corrigan solo to be added to the VIP section.

Your Friend & Lover,
Brent Corrigan

28 Comments

  1. October 4, 2010    

    Grr! You know what I really loathe about this new vlog entry? No matter what I did, I could not get the intro video footage right – my stupid little mac webcam would not properly focus on me! If you couldn’t tell before; these things drive me wild!

    • Norman Cross's Gravatar Norman Cross
      October 5, 2010    

      My young friend, I’d appreciate you even if you’re blurry! You are always a delight to read and to watch on you vlog. I have a copy of the one with the music playing in the background and you starting to move and dance. Whenever I’m blue, I watch it and it always brightens my day. Do whatever you want with your life – move to Timbuktu if that’s what you want. We’ll still be here, waiting for your next posting.

      Thanks so much for sharing.

  2. shell's Gravatar shell
    October 4, 2010    

    wow…this was so nice. thanks for sharing, cuz yeah, we have all been curious…but i wouldn’t have asked out of respect for your private life. it was kind and open and thoughtful of you to share. i certainly hope things are looking up, heading in a better, happier direction for you. i love following you–here, on twitter, wherever…your intelligence and depth of character continue to amaze and intrigue me. you are so atypically 23…in a very refreshing way!

    hang in there, baby. you are a doll, and i hope the next year proves more fruitful and happy and less taxing and trying that the last one! =}

  3. October 4, 2010    

    Rumors fly. You needed to do this. Thank you sir. Your appearance has changed noticably since I last saw you in person. No complaints at all. You are beautiful.

    I lived in Clovis, New Mexico at Canon Air Force Base for four years. I toured the state including Roswell of course. Very small town. High Desert is not a good thing. It means high altitude (cold,) no rain, hard winds and lots of sand. Worthless for the most part.

    El Paso by all accounts I have heard is a good place to live. Just stay north of Interstate 10. Don’t quote me but as I recall the last report was that there had been over 200 murders in Juarez this year but only one in El Paso. A tribute to a good police force. Also, Texas has no State income tax. Maybe that will help a little.

    Thanks for the update. Be well.

  4. Jakeisready's Gravatar Jakeisready
    October 4, 2010    

    I’m glad you shared this. Man, when life happens, it REALLY happens! From the sound if it, Judas Kiss was an intense experience…creating anything provokes such strange reactions. I guess that’s a signal that we’re on the right track.

    Good luck, and peace.

  5. chanda's Gravatar chanda
    October 4, 2010    

    I just wanted to give you a message of support. I will always root for you. In this climate of insecurity and gay teen suicide I believe that you have much to offer the world and are an example of a well rounded, confident man. How a person expresses himself/herself is no reason to hate or psychoanalyze them. May you continue to find your bliss and bring ligt into the world!

  6. Woody's Gravatar Woody
    October 4, 2010    

    I’m glad you talked about your situation. I was wondering what was going on, in some of your tweets from a week or two ago sounded like you were depressed. Are you moving permanently to New Mexico or Texas? It will be a lot hotter and dryer than San Diego. Anyway, wherever you and Paul go, I hope you are happy!
    I agree with Albert. Stay away from the Mexican border!

  7. babakatt's Gravatar babakatt
    October 5, 2010    

    Thanks for sharing,I was curious, but thats your private life. I’m glad you and Paul are doing good.
    Sorry about you losing your place,hopefully it will all work out for the best. I totally agree with you about Fall and Winter, I love having all four seasons and horses are beautiful,wonderful creatures. All the best to you in the future. You ‘ve been through so much and still stand strong, you’re amazing!

  8. Cody's Gravatar Cody
    October 5, 2010    

    Why would anyone not want to work with you? You seem so sincere, hardworking, nice, and ambitious. It was really cute when you told your boyfriend you love him! xoxox

  9. davidlondon's Gravatar davidlondon
    October 5, 2010    

    hey Brent cool blog and thanks for letting us now why its been so quiet always good to know what is going on with you but I understand that we cannot always know everything
    Hope you sort out the house situation (sounds like your landlord isnt that bright)
    btw how old is your mac? the cameras on the new ones seem good so maybe just something not right with the software or sumthin?
    look forward to your next post

  10. Nick Johnson's Gravatar Nick Johnson
    October 5, 2010    

    It’s probably unrelated to the blog or VLog entry, but you truly are an inspiration to the young gay community, including myself. I read your blog daily, I don’t subscribe because it would be hard to explain to the parentals…and I do it because knowing that you can be intelligent, confident and successful gives me hope for the future of gay America. I felt like I needed to post this because of the news coverage on gay teen suicide. I hope Judas Kiss becomes one of the most iconic movies of my lifetime, not only because I want you to have all the success in the world; But also because this generation needs a role model. You, are my generations Harvey Milk. Love and endless gratitude from me to you!

  11. Manuel's Gravatar Manuel
    October 6, 2010    

    BRENT CORRIGAN.. YOU ARE THE MAN OF MY DREAMS.. :) :)

    love you.

  12. Dana's Gravatar Dana
    October 6, 2010    

    Best of luck with your move. Know there may be some tough lessons along the way, but try to remember enough so as not to repeat them. You look great and hope high altitude of New Mexico is not too rough; be sure to wear a good hat to help preserve that handsome face! Check zoom mode of camera if focus is poor, selecting a different zoom and/or shapness level may help.

  13. Maestro's Gravatar Maestro
    October 6, 2010    

    *thinking of you as jockey*…. *faints*…. LOL

  14. marco's Gravatar marco
    October 6, 2010    

    Brent there are those of us who would like to ask you a question or two about your life. Do you have a formspring account? My question is: how old were you when you got your star tattoo? I think I remember seeing it in Schoolboy crush. It was a good choice for you, draws attention to your booty in a non ostentatious way. Also, I love your musical taste, keep giving us the recommendations. <3

  15. duhface's Gravatar duhface
    October 6, 2010    

    And yes . It’s just another day which is kinda more stressful than the yesterday , no one can live all their life without quite few days like these haha . So i know that it’ll be soon back to normal even better once you and your bf get throught the next few months . Go Brent ! have fun out of the sun of el paso and your favourite animals :) .
    best thumbs up for you !
    ( wondering what you’d look like in a mexico hat hahahaha)

  16. flemming's Gravatar flemming
    October 7, 2010    

    I’m half the world away from you anyway, so it doesn’t really matter where you choose to live. I just want you to be safe and happy. Are those places you are considering accepting of gay people? I hope so.

    Keep working on the book, I’m so looking forward to reading it! I’d love to translate it when it comes out.

  17. Cody's Gravatar Cody
    October 7, 2010    

    Sorry to hear about the dispute with your landlord. I had a similar situation with an apartment once, and they can be quite unpleasant. I moved to Albuquerque a few years ago to be with my fiance and I must say New Mexico really is a beautiful state. I’m not sure where you’re moving to, but try to make time for a little site seeing if you can. The view at sunset from the top of the Sandias is breathtaking. Chaco Canyon is quite interesting as is the VLA. Oh, and if you do visit the VLA , make time for Pie Town, NM! They have an incredible green chile apple pie. I know, I know. It sounds weird, but it really is amazing.

    P.S. Paul did a nice job with those photos. The lighting is really well balanced, and you look great!

  18. Jake's Gravatar Jake
    October 7, 2010    

    When will your dildo become available?

  19. Estelle's Gravatar Estelle
    October 7, 2010    

    Brent I know it’s off topic but I just wanted to thank you for your thoughtful and spot on comments on the sword about the whole “straight for pay” bull shit and the hypocritical double standard that is being practiced by a gay owned studio. I wrote this on The Sword, and will repeat it here, it is hypocritical to see these guys doing a “SHUT YOUR HOLE” PSA when they are practicing unsafe sex regardless of gender. Also what bothers me about this also is that HIV is not the only STD you can get from not wearing a condom. These men put their MALE scene partners for a number of infections. A 10 day AIM test means zilch if between the time you got your test results back you had unprotected sex with a dozen people.

    Take care Brent, and thank you for not being afraid to speak you mind whether it’s popular opinion or not.

  20. hi from russia's Gravatar hi from russia
    October 8, 2010    

    very nice photo. it may seem strange), but I like when you’re dressed

  21. greg's Gravatar greg
    October 8, 2010    

    Hi Brent,

    Thanks for sharing some of your personal life. It’s got me a bit confused though. If your bf is Paul Martinez, and he’s in New Mexico with the horses now, who’s the Paul Martinez in the San Diego County Jail on multiple felony counts? He looks just like your bf. Does he have an evil twin?
    Strange how your bf hasn’t been on Twitter since Sept. 6, and that’s the night of the arrest.
    His hearing is October 14th in SD Superior Court. Maybe we should all go to see who this guy thinks he is.

  22. Yagofran's Gravatar Yagofran
    October 9, 2010    

    Brent, please visit my country Nicaragua, you will be welcome, kisses. Yagofran.

  23. October 10, 2010    

    Brent… I’ve also had to deal with a crazy landlord issue in SD. By far the best tenant’s rights attorneys in the area are the guys at the tenant’s legal center on Balboa. Those guys saved my ass from a major nightmare.

  24. October 14, 2010    

    You are absolutely amazing person…aside from the fact that you are sexually gifted person. i watched some of your videos especially that one with the other Brent…oh…what an actor!

    I love you…

  25. KCinLA's Gravatar KCinLA
    October 15, 2010    

    Moving around a bit can be fun.
    Your going to be in your 30′s before you know it.
    I know. No regrets of my different homes since leaving my parent’s, when age 18.
    New Mexico is OK, and only temporary. Texas, I don’t know.

    Improvements made to a rental without a reimbursement agreement will not be reimbursed.
    Going down that road leads to a dead end, drop it to save disappointment please.
    Any law firm that charges upfront fees knows you will lose. You know.

    Have enjoyed following you since 2004, thank you very much.

    Kevin
    HB, CA

  26. October 26, 2010    

    i so wanna fill out a model app form.. only prob is i hav braces… i’ll do it when they’re off…

    gives me time to get my bod in better shape at least

  27. jota's Gravatar jota
    October 26, 2010    

    :B i love uuuu =D

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